[ he watches her make herself small again, put up a barrier of limbs between them. his first thought is too peel her open, force himself back into her life, but he figures he should at least say what's been on his mind before doing that. it was easier before he got to actually know her. instead he just squeezes her hand. ]
I'm sorry. I don't know what happened between us that night.
[ well, he has some idea. he smiles weakly, stares at the floor. ]
You acted like a kid, yelled at me, and I was scared that I'd hurt you if I stayed. I know... what I should have done, but it didn't feel right.
[ she studies him openly for a moment, a little furrow forming in her brow. acted like a kid. she lets go of her legs, puts her feet back on the floor, and sits properly, but only so that she can punch him in the abdomen. ]
[ she feels a little pang of guilt for hurting him, admittedly — no matter what he had done to daryl, he apparently is exactly as weak and fragile as she'd believed (sigh). but mostly, she's just feeling satisfied with herself for getting a message across, finally. she's aware she's not the best communicator, but it's hard to misunderstand a fist. ]
Now you know better for next time. [ she puts her hand on his back, as if to help him through the pain she had caused. ] Let me yell at you. Don't decide for me. Don't hide from it. It will be worse if you do.
[ this friendship is going to get him killed. almost did already. he rubs his face, can't believe this. ]
Oh, yeah? [ jesus fucking christ. what if he dies of an internal bleeding. what then Mavis??? ] So it doesn't matter what I'll do? You'll just take it?
[ all conversations with mavis are punctuated by awkward silences. lapses where she doesn't know what to put in, where she clearly loses the cadence of the thing. she has no automatic inclination towards verbal reply, the way other people seem to.
this is one of those, but it feels especially pronounced. like skidding to a halt.
she looks away from him, grappling with what to say — because how pathetic does that sound? but the pathos of it doesn't change her answer. she grinds her teeth. ]
What, leave you? [ fuck it's hard to lie when you're talking to a telepath. Felipe slowly straightens his back. uses the moment to think of his answer. ]
I think I made the right choice. [ if he hadn't, things between them would be so awkward right now. he clears his throat. ] It wasn't a good idea.
No, stupid. [ she huffs. ] Go to Aristaeus. Would you do it again?
[ that's the difference. the difference between why she could welcome felipe back here, and why darcy would never come back. darcy wasn't sorry for what they had done. darcy chose kossos over mavis.
she can't promise that there's nothing felipe could do that would be too far, that would be a tipping point. but she knows it wasn't this because she's pretty sure she already knows the answer to the question she's asking. ]
[ oh, an easy question. his answer is quick and firm. it makes him frown as he remembers how Aristaeus ambushed him outside this room, acting all crazy. in fact it's a surprise that he hasn't barged in yet – unless Mavis already went to see him. ]
[ he agrees easily, but it's a different matter whether he'll actually do it. at least for now he truly means what he said. since he's mostly gotten over his injury, he slips his arm around her shoulders and squeezes her tiny body against himself. ]
And you'll tell me if you'd like to be held tonight. [ teasing, but the offer is certainly back on the table. ]
[ there's something aching in the look she directs up at him for a moment. she's still, otherwise. painfully still. then she looks back at the bed opposite them — hers.
no. she doesn't have it in her to ask.
but if she crawls into his bed in the middle of the night, that's a different story. she doesn't want to be alone, right now. ]
[ whatever, he'll take that as a yes. he smiles and presses a kiss on top of her head. so much has been left unsaid between them, but he's eager to forget about the difficulties and pretend nothing bad ever happened. great! it's good that he doesn't know what happened inside the castle because he's so grateful to the duchess right now. ]
I should go find Daryl, but I'll come back soon. Do you need anything?
[ how long had it been since aristaeus urged her to eat? ]
Bring food.
[ she doesn't leave his bed. instead, she draws herself up further onto it, behind him, towards the wall, and she curls up on her side like she's ready to nap on it.
she's still recovering, she tells herself. it's alright that it's the middle of the day. ]
[ he nods. understood. this went so well that he isn't so nervous about meeting Daryl anymore. one final look at Mavis before he leaves the room and attempts to find his friend.
later, when he returns with a basket full of food (warm bread, butter, apples and some meat) he seems a bit shaken but in relatively good spirits. even better when he sees that Mavis is still curled up on his bed, uninjured and safe. probably asleep.
he sets the basket down on the floor carefully and climbs into the bed with her, buries his face in the back of her neck and draws her close to himself, his jewellery making the only faint noise in the silent room as he moves. ]
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no subject
I'm sorry. I don't know what happened between us that night.
[ well, he has some idea. he smiles weakly, stares at the floor. ]
You acted like a kid, yelled at me, and I was scared that I'd hurt you if I stayed. I know... what I should have done, but it didn't feel right.
no subject
Not a kid.
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Fuck! [ what happened to being weak and fragile because this time he actually is weak and fragile? ] That was a really fucking bratty thing to do!
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Now you know better for next time. [ she puts her hand on his back, as if to help him through the pain she had caused. ] Let me yell at you. Don't decide for me. Don't hide from it. It will be worse if you do.
no subject
Oh, yeah? [ jesus fucking christ. what if he dies of an internal bleeding. what then Mavis??? ] So it doesn't matter what I'll do? You'll just take it?
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this is one of those, but it feels especially pronounced. like skidding to a halt.
she looks away from him, grappling with what to say — because how pathetic does that sound? but the pathos of it doesn't change her answer. she grinds her teeth. ]
Would you do it again?
no subject
I think I made the right choice. [ if he hadn't, things between them would be so awkward right now. he clears his throat. ] It wasn't a good idea.
But I'm here now. I'm staying.
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[ that's the difference. the difference between why she could welcome felipe back here, and why darcy would never come back. darcy wasn't sorry for what they had done. darcy chose kossos over mavis.
she can't promise that there's nothing felipe could do that would be too far, that would be a tipping point. but she knows it wasn't this because she's pretty sure she already knows the answer to the question she's asking. ]
no subject
[ oh, an easy question. his answer is quick and firm. it makes him frown as he remembers how Aristaeus ambushed him outside this room, acting all crazy. in fact it's a surprise that he hasn't barged in yet – unless Mavis already went to see him. ]
That was a mistake.
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[ a clear cause and effect. he knows it was a mistake, so she'll take it. she tips her head against his shoulder. ]
You do something stupid. Let me be mad. And I'll take it. Just don't do it again.
no subject
[ he agrees easily, but it's a different matter whether he'll actually do it. at least for now he truly means what he said. since he's mostly gotten over his injury, he slips his arm around her shoulders and squeezes her tiny body against himself. ]
And you'll tell me if you'd like to be held tonight. [ teasing, but the offer is certainly back on the table. ]
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no. she doesn't have it in her to ask.
but if she crawls into his bed in the middle of the night, that's a different story. she doesn't want to be alone, right now. ]
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I should go find Daryl, but I'll come back soon. Do you need anything?
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Bring food.
[ she doesn't leave his bed. instead, she draws herself up further onto it, behind him, towards the wall, and she curls up on her side like she's ready to nap on it.
she's still recovering, she tells herself. it's alright that it's the middle of the day. ]
no subject
later, when he returns with a basket full of food (warm bread, butter, apples and some meat) he seems a bit shaken but in relatively good spirits. even better when he sees that Mavis is still curled up on his bed, uninjured and safe. probably asleep.
he sets the basket down on the floor carefully and climbs into the bed with her, buries his face in the back of her neck and draws her close to himself, his jewellery making the only faint noise in the silent room as he moves. ]